Saturday, August 04, 2007
Love Letters Straight From the Past
I will be publishing letters to "B" - my first young love. I must remind you that I grew in a limited and overly-protected world - where old values and awkward social experiences were the daily news.
"B" has always been in my thoughts. And he will always be my first love. No matter that we have now our own worlds. No matter that our paths may not cross again. No matter that I am not sure he remembers me at all, and after all these years.
So, my blog, you will be the repository of this unrequited love. My first love . . .
Dear B.
How old was I, sixteen? going on seventeen? I knew I was young . . . way too young and inexperienced in the world of puppy love. You were so good-looking and tall and intelligent-looking with those thick black-rimmed glasses that were in vouge then. You stood out in a crowd and I was so infatuated with you.
But I was so awkward and stupid and could not contribute to any conversation you started. (laughs) You came into my life too early and I wish that you came into my life instead, ten years after I actually met you. I needed some years to grow a tounge, some flesh in the right places and a little bravado to show my personality. We could have hit off very nicely.
Talk about meeting each other at the wrong time. . .
By the time I learned some social graces, you got into medical school. You got busy working on a career. And I did not see you for a long time. I never stopped dreaming of you, talking to you via my diary - You were in my diary all throughout college along with 25 others who I had crushes on from a distance - a safe distance.
Here I am, many many years after, still dreaming about you and what we could have been together if we met at the right time - - - like at a time when our planets aligned - - - like at a time when I could contribute to the conversations you tried to start.
It this is not true love - then what is it? Why do I still meet you in my dreams as if we were never in two separate worlds? Well, the diary is now the Blog. And you are in it as always.
Will I find you ever again? I do not think so. Too many years, too many people between us, too little time left. I can just talk to you via this blog . . . and in my dreams.
Forever yours,
C.
"B" has always been in my thoughts. And he will always be my first love. No matter that we have now our own worlds. No matter that our paths may not cross again. No matter that I am not sure he remembers me at all, and after all these years.
So, my blog, you will be the repository of this unrequited love. My first love . . .
Dear B.
How old was I, sixteen? going on seventeen? I knew I was young . . . way too young and inexperienced in the world of puppy love. You were so good-looking and tall and intelligent-looking with those thick black-rimmed glasses that were in vouge then. You stood out in a crowd and I was so infatuated with you.
But I was so awkward and stupid and could not contribute to any conversation you started. (laughs) You came into my life too early and I wish that you came into my life instead, ten years after I actually met you. I needed some years to grow a tounge, some flesh in the right places and a little bravado to show my personality. We could have hit off very nicely.
Talk about meeting each other at the wrong time. . .
By the time I learned some social graces, you got into medical school. You got busy working on a career. And I did not see you for a long time. I never stopped dreaming of you, talking to you via my diary - You were in my diary all throughout college along with 25 others who I had crushes on from a distance - a safe distance.
Here I am, many many years after, still dreaming about you and what we could have been together if we met at the right time - - - like at a time when our planets aligned - - - like at a time when I could contribute to the conversations you tried to start.
It this is not true love - then what is it? Why do I still meet you in my dreams as if we were never in two separate worlds? Well, the diary is now the Blog. And you are in it as always.
Will I find you ever again? I do not think so. Too many years, too many people between us, too little time left. I can just talk to you via this blog . . . and in my dreams.
Forever yours,
C.
